This past weekend, my husband and I went to Camp Berea
In talking to the young ladies at youth group this weekend, part of how I tried to phrase how we should think of ourselves, is by asking "Who are we listening to when it comes to who we are?" There are many voices in our lives and our culture telling us what to think of ourselves, both negative and positive (cough, cough, trolls!) - but who are we listening to? Some girls listen to their friends, either directly, or subtly through comparison of themselves to their friends. Some people look at culture for their image- they follow a celebrity, a model or a lifestyle advocated by someone famous. Others rely on themselves for their own image, something encouraged in many movies and popular trends today: "Be who you want to be- follow your heart!" Others rely on parents, co-workers, or bosses to define them, relying on their view of who they are, and being built up or crushed based on their praise or criticism. However, in the end, none of these sources of our image are what they should be, and all have problems.
Whether your friends give you positive or negative feedback regarding yourself, remember that they are not you, and that God created you different from your friends! They may mean well, but they cannot see into your heart- and other peers are sometimes intentionally mean because they feel powerful when they put you down. If you rely on culture for your self image, remember that culture is constantly changing what it feels like is defined as "beautiful" based on a whim. You can never keep up with their standards. They also don't care about you, and are not giving your personal advice- if you are searching for significance in modeling yourself after a celebrity or a model, etc., you are bound to be disatisfied- that is not you! Relying on parents, peers and bosses is also dangerous, simply because, good or bad, people are human and will not always be a reliable source of who YOU should be. Your parent can tell you how to be a good daughter, or your boss can tell you how to be a good worker, but that doesn't mean that they know how to be a good you.
There is where most people come to rely on themselves for their image, which usually has two types of results. If you tell yourself how wonderful you are all the time, you may have a "good" self image- but you also will be blind to your own faults, and never work on growing. You will also most likely be prideful, since you think you're so wonderful, and many people with this mentality develop an "entitlement" mentality, which means that they think, because they are so wonderful, they deserve to have things given to them and people fawn over them. The other side of people who rely on their own thoughts for their image goes in the other direction. They beat themselves up mentally over their faults, always putting themselves down or saying how stupid they are. This constant negativity is not healthy however, and can lead to not only a bad self image, but other more serious issues such as eating disorders, depression, or even suicidal tendencies- this is also not where God intended us to be.
The only place that we can truly find our image (and be satisfied with it) is through Christ. We are "made in the image of God" and that is where we our sense of who we are has to be found. As image bearers, we are to imitate Chris in everything- not our friends, not celebrities, not even our parents. They are human too! Our job is to reflect Christ, not the world- and thus the world should not define who we are.
Something that the speaker at camp said this weekend really struck me. He talked about the fact that as Christians who have accepted Christ's sacrifice for us, we are not supposed to "be like Christ" by trying to be perfect-although we strive to be more like him because we love him-but instead, are to surrender our own efforts in exchange for Christ's perfection- because that is all that God sees when he looks at us, because Christ has washed us clean. On the same note, while there, I purchased a tote bag with the words, "I'm to die for- just ask Jesus." I used this cute quote as an example, that Jesus thought we were enough to die for, which gives us worth in His eyes! We are God's workmanship, washed clean in Christ Jesus- and when we reject his view of us for someone else's view, or our view of ourself, we are rejecting our Maker (God) and our Saviour, who died so that we could have his perfection! Also, when we reject God's image of us in favor of our own image, we are focusing on ourselves, rather than God. We don't usually think of people who have a poor self image of being selfish- but who are we focusing on when we think how wonderful or terrible we are? Ourselves, rather than Jesus, and the result is a vicious cyle of trying to "perfect" ourselves rather than focusing on Jesus and accepting the perfection he provides us.
On a side note, this doesn't mean that we are truly "perfect" and should just stop where we are now- that puts us in the same boat as the people who rely on themselves and tell themselves they are wonderful. We are called to grow like Christ and follow him- not because we are trying to reach perfection, but because we are image bearers seeking to be like Christ. This is different because it takes away the worry and angst that we carry about ourselves- and because our focus is not being perfect so that we will be loved and liked, or anything about us. Our focus is on Jesus and wanting to be more like him because we love him and are thankful for what he did for us. When you were little, did you ever try to be like your parents? If so, it wasn't because you were worried about doing everything perfectly, or even because you thought your parents were perfect- but simply because you adored your parents and wanted to be "just like dad" or "just like mom", with a child-like view of the world, free from worry and enjoying imitating your hero- that's the type of attitude we should have towards being Christ's image bearers!
God made us all beautiful - and all different. It would be so boring if we all looked exactly the same! My dad contests frequently that vanilla is the best ice cream flavor of all time, and can't be improved upon- but I always thought half the fun is that there are so many different types of ice creams to try, even if you have a favorite! What if there was only one type of ice cream? one color? one type of flowers? one type of fruit?one type of anything? That would be so boring! God created us intentionally to be deliciously different- different nationalities, different skin colors, different hair, different personalities, different callings, and different body types- and He made them all beautiful! God thinks we are beautiful on the inside and out. Our bodies are the frames that He made to perfectly fit us, His "masterpieces." He intended us to be different- and delights in us that way!
If you struggle with your image and your self worth- don't do so silently. Find a mentor or an older Christian, a parent, or a peer- and ask them to speak truth into your life, to remind you that God made you beautiful and loves you as you are. Drown out those trolly whispers that you are not good enough, or that you have to change something about yourself to be who God created you to be. It's a lot harder to believe those trolly lies when someone is speaking truth on the other side. (Listen to some positive music too- trolls hate good music! Some songs that have been running through my head that support some of these themes are "Gold" by Britt Nicole, "Who I Am" by Jason Grey, Casting Crowns, "Voice of Truth, or "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz.) Satan wants you to believe that you should keep your fears or your struggles in the dark, because no one would understand- but that's a lie! Fears can grow in the dark, but they shrivel up in the light. Bash those image-trolls with your bible- and get some friends to help. Multiple friends with bibles, hammers, flashlights, ipods full of good music, or an assortment of heavy objects make the bashing much easier.
Happy Troll Bashing!
